So last night was a lot of fun. Highlights of the evening
include:
A pair of friends donning Mitchell-brother masks and dancing
in an unlit alleyway behind a pub, drawing a group of spectators, who after
this had continued for several minutes, grew a little uncomfortable and backed
out of the alley again.
Another pair of friends discussing the inconsistent and ill-considered
policies and statements of UKIP and their followers, but used bad sarcasm so
the group of inebriated clowns (costumed clowns, not a reference to their
behaviour) behind us seemed confused and slightly angry.
All in all, a successful night of revelry.
This morning a friend of mine tweeted about an article on
the BBC website looking at the issue and history of women taking their husband’s
name; a topic that I have mixed feelings about.
I think that it’s every person’s right to make that choice
for themselves but the sheer number of women who still change their name, I
think, shows that there is a hangover culture of possession.
The reasons behind name changing today are clear and
practical, the wedding ceremony is a public declaration of love, fidelity and
family and many people see the sharing of a name as a continuance of that
declaration and unity. But just mention the idea of the name being shared could
be the maiden name of the bride and the reaction you get is quite surprising.
Men and women who seem fully committed to gender equality baulk at the idea of the
groom changing his name, even if they have no issue with the bride keeping or
changing hers. It seems to still be a woman’s issue, change your name, don’t
change your name, but don’t ask me to change mine. This is starting to sound a
lot like a culture where being married fundamentally changes who a woman is,
but the change for men is less profound.
It would certainly be unusual to receive an announcement at
work that a man, who had recently been married, will now be working under a new
name and you will need to update all your contact details for him because his
email address will be changing in accordance. Though that is not to say it is
unheard of, the above mentioned friend’s family all use her mother’s maiden
name.
Perhaps a sign of how ingrained the culture of ‘maiden’
names is would be that one of the most commonly asked security questions when
you forget your password is ‘what is your mother’s maiden name’. That the given
name of your mother should be so secret means that, not only must your mother
be married, she must also have taken your father’s name. As a child of a
married pair of parents with the same surname this had never really occurred to
me as strange until recently. When you look at it again, in today’s culture
where families come in all shapes and sizes this question seems almost
ridiculous. What exactly would you put if you, for example, had two Daddies?
And certainly the concept of security would be called into question if your
mother’s maiden name was just your name.
Until I read the article this morning I had not realised
that this was a British tradition which had spread. I was aware that in Spain
and other Spanish-speaking countries often the tradition was for a child’s
surname to be made up of a combination of both the mother and the father’s
names. Whilst originally the first name had to be the father’s surname this is
no longer the case and it’s quite common for the names to be changed round to
whatever sounds best (I find the name with the most syllables first). With that
in mind perhaps it’s time we start looking to other cultures for ideas on this
thorny issue. That would certainly be my plan, even if it’s not a pressing concern
for me right now.
You
can read the full BBC article here.
